Death Hits Home

When my cat Chloe was small I bought her a pet...another kitten. I named him Merlin and he was an adorable little gray fuzzball. They grew up together, good friends, playing at night and snuggling on occasion during the day.
I left my home in Charlotte and Merlin had become so attached to my best friend Tom that I left Merlin with him. I did not think either would be happy without each other.
Over the years Tom and I have kept in touch, always keeping each other updated on both Merlin and Chloe. I have been lucky, Chloe has been healthy but over the last few years Merlin's health had begun to decline.
Last night I checked my email and Tom had written me that he had to put Merlin down, he was suffering too much and it was not fair to keep him alive just to save him the pain of losing him.
I try to write something about all my friend's pets that pass since I love animals probably more than poeple so I know how deeply this can hurt, but now it has hit home for me in a way. Though I did not see him for the last almost decade of his life, I never let go of Merlin in my heart and still keep pictures of him.

Merlin was a character, constant struggling with his weight, as neutered males that stay indoors will, but he was also an inherently lazy cat, we sometimes called him Garfield. I remember one time I found him laying down next to his food dish, reaching his arm into the bowl and scooping the food out and to his mouth. The decadence of the Roman Empire immediately came to mind. After that Tom spend years engineering food dishes that would keep him from over eating while he was gone but each one Merlin found a way to break into.
He was also a very affectionate cat. People don't think of cats as affectionate but he was. He always wanted to be on a lap on  a close by chair, he loved sleeping in the bed with Tom and his only real interest in the outdoors was an occasion smell and a tentative paw, followed by a daring 3 or 4 feet into the great wilderness, then back inside to safety.
I am glad Merlin is gone in a way, I will miss him but the thought of him suffering would be too much to handle and I know Tom, you did the right thing. You gave him the best life a cat could have and more medical care than most anyone else would have. (He practically had a vet hospital in his home) I know he was your friend, your companion and the only "person" you truly could trust and count on 100%. My sadness for you is so big I cannot find the words to describe it, only the constant tears could speak for me. I want to to make it all go away but all I can do is let you know that you have more people who are real friends, and more friends who love you that I think you know. Reach out a little, just for now. It will help you and make then feel better. It aways feels good to help someone.
Maybe some day you will get another cat, though I doubt it will be any time soon, but once you have had one its almost impossible not to get another at some point. They become a living presence in your home and everything feels empty without one, especially now that "Monkey" is gone.
I was hoping to be more eloquent but truth be told I have not slept since yesterday morning. When I got the news I cried for a long time and was awake all night after that so I am not at my literary best. But the bottom line is you are loved, you are cared about and your friends will come to you if you let them in and call or write me, I am here.
A big warm hug to you and one last one to Merlin. I love you Monkey and we will never forget you.

Cocoa You Are Missed

A few weeks ago a dear friend, Marie, lost her treasured Cocoa, one of the cutest tiny dogs I have ever seen. She had such a sweet disposition and, no matter how many of us big hulking humans were at the house, she never got cross with us, always wagging her tail and just wanting her share of attention. I know she was like a child to Marie and my heart breaks for you Honey, I know you still grapple daily with the loss of her, and I understand, our pets ARE our children and when we lose one, even though we go into it knowing it is inevitable, it is never, ever easy. Things here have been hectic but that is no excuse. We love you like family and know you will somehow overcome this and we want to help and be there for you if you need us.
 She is, after all, in a good place now (and more and more evidence pointing to that fact surfaces all the time so forget what anyone tells you about no heaven for animals, its hooey). I know you can never replace her, but you will always remember her so she will really never leave.