Tuesday, April 03, 2012

EUREKA MOMENTS or LET ME PUBLISH YOU

I have put out the word on Facebook that I need your stories. I am publishing  a book on those "eureka" moments, the ones that change our lives forever. Not everyone has one of these, they are a rare and beautiful gift.

I am writing this blog to share mine with you not only because there is a lesson to be learned from it, but to illustrate the kind of thing I am looking for, to show what the moment of clarity looks like and to give you an idea of how your story may be told. I have not yet decided whether or not to write a narrative using your story or to use direct quotes, I would be interested to know which YOU would prefer seeing published and which you would prefer reading. I am leaning towards having you tell it in your own words.

I was a little girl that bright afternoon, sitting on the floor in my grandparent's oppulent bedroom in McLean. I clearly remember the French Provential furnishings, the ivory rug and the smell of my grandmother's powder permeating the room. These things I remember clearly because what was about to take place was so simple, so common, and yet were to affect me the rest of my life.

I was cross-legged on the floor, my nose a couple of feet from the old television, watching what I think was an ABC After School Special. It was the story of a lonely, sad girl who had no friends and was rejected and ridiculed by her peers. I could relate already to this child, it could have been me back when I was a foot taller than my classmates, skinny as a rail and too bookish for anyone to befriend me but the teachers, adding "teachers pet" to my sins.

This lonely girl on TV finally ended up befriending a crow. This bird walked with her and allowed her to hold it and she fell in love with him. He was her only friend in the world, the only one to listen to her problems, to comfort her, he allowed her to love and nurture him and in doing so he was loving and nurturing her in return.

One day, as she walked down the sidewalk, her crow walking next to her, a group of the popular kids her age came up and became interested in the bird. They asked her questions about it and thought she was really "cool" for having this bird follow her. The little girl was delighted to finally have people to talk to, to NOT be the outcast for once. But then someone threw something at the bird and it jumped. This created peals of laughter from the other kids and the next thing I remember seeing was the group of them circled around the crow, throwing stones at it and laughing as it tried to escape. It jumped and cawed and tried to fly away but was too damaged at this point to move.

The next camera shot was of the little lonely girl, standing with the rest of the kids, throwing stones at her friend, watching him die. Silent tears streamed down her face as she tossed stones at him until the life had been beaten out of him. But she was with people, her peers, for that brief moment they had accepted her and she was no longer alone. This sad child had killed the one thing she loved to fit in with the rest of humanity.

Suddenly my surrounding became crystal clear and the sights and smells of that room burned into my memory forever. I physically felt something fundamental shift inside of me and I knew at that moment I had changed forever. I knew then and there that I would never forsake anyone, including myself, for the acceptance of others.

As I got older I, like everyone else, faced peer pressure. Pressure to do drugs, pressure to have sex, pressure to do immoral or illegal things in the name of  "fun". I heard all of it. "come on, you chicken?" "what's wrong, we are all going why wont you?". But I never did unless I WANTED to. I even lost a career over this little girl and her bird when my reputation for non-conformity got me fired. My boss was afraid I would not  be a "team player" and look the other way while he swindled people out of their retirement. And he was right, I did not. I reported him for it even after he fired me.

I owe who I am and what I have become to that ABC After School Special, for it gave me the heart and the resolve to never give in, be myself and protect the ones I love. Even to this day there are times the images from that old TV screen fill my head and I can feel my resolve harden when faced with a difficult choice. I am not saying I gained any moral superiority from this, hell no. I am as damaged as the rest of the world. What I am saying is that I have the courage and sense of self to say no when I mean no and the hell with whether or not anyone likes it, or likes me for that matter. I will not kill my own bird for the acceptance of others.

So there is my "eureka" moment. Simple, short, but life changing. And that is what I would like from you. A little piece of your soul. In return you will not only get a signed copy of a small book, but more importantly you will get the opportunity to share with others your story and be able to feel how wonderful it is to open  it all up to the world. You also will help others learn from your special moments. I know that me telling this story to others has changed them. Even with no explaination, just relating the events of the show has helped people resist people-pleasing too much. Plus there is somethign about sharing your life changing moments that deepens them, adds dimension to them for your benefit.

If you are interested in being part of this project please email me at MyStoryInPrint@yahoo.com and I will get back to you ASAP.
(please note I will be out of town the 6,7 and 8 of this month but will return your email as soon as I get back or prior ot leaving).

Thanks.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Check THAT off the Bucket List!


Anyone who knows me well knows I am a speed demon. From roller coasters and airplane take offs as a kid, to motorcycle rides and racing my car on the streets of Fairfax as a teen, speed has always been in my blood and, as scared of things as I am, I hardly remember a time that going fast did anything but exhilarate me. There is a high about it that nothing compares to.

My birthday just passed and I asked Ryan, my to-be step son, to take me out in his uber-fast BMW as a birthday gift. Yesterday I got way more than I could have hoped for.

Seems Porsche had a patriotic moment here in the US and brought several of its newest, fastest cars, the 911 Carrera 4S, (a bargain at just $129,740) to Mayport Naval Station here in Jacksonville where both Mark and Ryan work. Porche set up a course on the air field and brought professional drivers (just like all the TV commercials that say "do not try this at home, professional driver on closed course") and offered free rides to the sailors. One course was more of a long straight away with several bone jarring turns, the other was a slalom, where you could ride along or actually drive it yourself. Looked like Ryan was going to surpass my request for a speedy ride.

The cars were attractive and sounded fierce, which I  hate to admit considering I always thought of the Porsche as a fancy Volkswagon with a lawn mower for an engine (listen to it, it sounds like a tractor!)but these cars were far from your usual 911. Sleek and attractive, the engines not so much roared as hummed, with an undercurrent of power you could feel in your bones. The day was overcast, cool but a bit breezy, so top speeds of over 180mph were impossible.

I signed my life away and all the rights for my kin to sue if I died a fiery death, got my hand stamped, grabbed a helmet and was off. I happened to get the best driver in the fastest car...yea! He asked if I was a screamer like the girl before me and I laughed my best Dorothy Parker laugh. Never could he scare me. The challenge was deliberate. I wanted FAST.

We hit 120MPH before I took my 3rd breath, which was a bit hard to do since the G-force was pretty impressive. As we picked up speed I could feel that exhilaration mixed with an odd feeling of calm that I always get when going stupid-fast. Then he hit the bakes to turn around and I dscovered the human eyeballs could simply shoot out of the head when you go from 167MPH to 30MPH in a nanosecond. Around the cones we went, the slalom looking impossible as we neared each cone, yet the car handled it with grace and class, not to mention the driver. Then it was back to the straightaway and it was over.

I thanked my driver, who seemed a little disappointed that he did not scare me (Ha! He has never been on the back of a motorcycle with Mark obviously!) and I met up with Ryan, grinning ear to ear the whole way but trying hard to look cool about it.

We then walked to the other end where the slalom was and where you could drive one of these beasts yourself. Ryan is under 21 so he could not drive but did take the ride. I watched his car, an insanely fast bright yellow machine, as it twisted and turned at break-neck speeds around the cones. I felt like I was in a a Porche commercial. Unfortunately, when it came to my turn (I was going to drive one myself) they were closing so I did not get the chance.

The whole experience was amazing. The car, even over 165mph, didn't shimmy or shake or act like any of this was a big deal. It was comfortable and smooth and had remarkable brakes that must have been reverse engineered UFO technology.  I have seen NASCAR drivers take random fans around the course pre-race and have always wanted to do that, knowing I would not be scared, I would be electrified, and yesterday I was.

So thanks Ryan, for the best birthday gift ever (along with the Fire of course) and the next $120,000 I come across I am getting a red one and you can drive it anytime you like.