Combat quotidien avec Chloe

My best friend (and cat) Chloe will be 10 years old April first. Please do not make any April Fools jokes if you value your flesh. She KNOWS what you are thinking, and I have proof.


Recently I had a bit of a health scare with her but it turns out to be something not too serious but that does require daily medication. This wonder drug, especially for my cat’s unique problem, is Pepcid AC. Yes, the little pills you get at the drugstore. The vet said, :Oh, just give her half a Pepcid each day, she will be fine.”

Now, I have owned a few cats in my life, I have even helped with other people’s cats before, but Chloe is no ordinary cat. I tired the usually methods for “pilling” a cat. Nope. I tired Pill Pockets, an ingenious invention that is simply a hollowed out treat that you stick a pill in. The dog falls for it every time, but the cat…pill pocket injected, pill in a slobbery mess on the floor. Dog eats pill.

SO then the vet suggests I crush up the tablet, put it in an empty capsule, lubricate it with a bit of butter, and try to get it down her that way. Once again, the dog wins the round.

At this point even the vet had lost her compassion for Chloe and gave me a 9 inch long syringe-like contraption. You put the butter-rubbed, crushed pill filled capsule in the end of this thing, hold open the cat’s mouth, and shoot it into the back of her throat. Would have worked fine if Chloe had not shot it right back out of her mouth onto the floor where, of course, the dog ate it.

Last try. Chloe gets shots. I have to act like some competent nurse on E.R. and hold the bottle of liquid Pepcid upside down, fill the syringe, flick out the air bubbles, and stick the cat. Interestingly, the vet said that cats do not possess the pain receptors for a needle-type stick pain (only in their faces) so Chloe feels nothing, which is too bad for my sense of justice.

Seems Chloe first associated the syringe with the shot, which is expected I think. But now she has associated the post-shot treats with the shot itself, so she runs from the treat bag as soon as I open the cupboard. Sometimes she hides when I just THINK about the shot. Damn ESP cat.. At first I could not figure out why, if she did not feel the sticking, did she hate the shots? My guess is now that the medication has to be refrigerated and, though she may not feel the needle, she will certainly feel the icy cold liquid going into her skin. So the next step? Put the treat in front of her to eat while giving her the shots, and letting the syringe of Pepcid warm up a bit before administering. (She also gets B-12 once a week).

What prompted me to write this boring tome? Here is Chloe, the master huntress, hiding from the shot:

But really, can you blame her?

Superbowl Ads

I wasted an entire evening of my glamorous life watching the superbowl last night, for two reasons. One, it was my first time playing some sort of football squares game that had to do with the score and the possibility of winning a fair amount of cash. I won nothing but chicken wing and meatball heartburn.


The second, and most important reason I watched was for the commercials, but like last year, I was sorely disappoint and at times outraged. Those who know me know I certainly am not a hardcore feminist, but a couple of these commercials boiled even my blood.

The most innocuous was yet another Go Daddy commercial staring Dana The Driver and someone who could have been Heather Graham, but I did not have my glasses on for this bit of TV gold so I am not sure. You have a pool in a spa-like setting, Dana draped in nothing but a sheet waiting for her massage, and the possibly Heather Graham ready to give her the massage. The next thing I see is something bordering on mild softcore porn. The Heather-thing takes down her hair and she and Driver Dana exchange brief kudos about GoDaddy.com in subtly sexy voices as Possibly Heather then rips her bodice open. I would like to know why GoDaddy.com thinks it needs to use nothing but sex to sell it's services. With the gazillion hosts out there, you would think they would at least toss in a fact or two as to why I should choose them as my web host over all the others. Is Dana or the Heatheroid gonna give me a massage too? Ick. Which brings me to the second reason this ad is crappy. I am a woman. Many women have websites. Why was George Clooney not half naked on a table for me, with Brad Pitt (from the 90’s, not the bewhiskered freak we see now) tearing open his shirt? But my biggest gripe (and really this is with all GoDaddy commercials) is Dana herself. Look, this woman could be the idol of so many. She is smart, sexy, and she can drive the hell out of any race car (as she proved this weekend). So why is she stooping to doing these insipid, sexist commercials for the Chuck E. Cheese of web hosts?

The other commercial that boiled my blood was for some car, the new Charger I think, or maybe the Challenger. It was one of those classic car remakes, those pathetic new cars with styling vaguely reminiscent of their superior grandfathers. Charger, Challenger, I am not sure, but it was as ugly as the rest of those wannabes. The commercial consisted of quickly moving headshots of various men, each speaking a line or two like "I take out the trash and separate the recycling"..flash to next head..."I pretend to listen and nod at the appropriate places"...flash to the next head that laments its dreary, controlled life with you. This goes on for a few more seconds, listing enough parts of life that tell women that men merely put up with us, and for what?...last head..." I do all these things so I can drive the car I want to drive". The Ugly Classic Car Wannabe. I was actually surprised when I felt the gnawing in my stomach begin. I had not been offended by a commercial in that manner for a good 25 years. Yes, many commercials are derogatory towards women (and more, I believe, are derogatory toward men) but anyone with a dab of self-confidence and a drop of humor can at least tolerate, at best enjoy, these sophomoric ads. This one, however, was too much. I felt unappreciated and invalidated. And the woman sitting next to me had the same horrified look on her face too, so I am not the only one. So friends, if your Toyota is driving alone sans pilot right now and you need a new set of wheels, remember this commercial if you want to pick up chick. Don’t buy that car.

Many of the other commercials were just stupid and/or mildly icky. Why all the physically unattractive humans partially clothed? That just does not go well with hot wings, ya know? The animal commercials were cute, but I expect more than cute if I am to tolerate 4 hours of football. There was one exception to the animal ads, which brings me to my vote for best Stupidbowl ads.

This year the second place winner is Doritos with this ad:



My favorite this year has to be the Snickers ad. Weird, funny, familiar yet scarce faces, violence, it has it all and is just plainf funny: