What Happened to Christmas?

Okay, so this is a topic done to death this time of year, but as usual I need to put my two cents in. I will keep it short.

At what point was a book replaced with a Kindle as an appropriate gift? When was the personal gift of perfume or jewelry deemed not enough, but a flat-screen TV or a laptop was? And I would really like to know where the automakers got the kahunas to peddle the idea that a Lexus makes an appropriate gift?

To me, this obscene consumerism at Christmas is soul damaging. It sends a message, one that we live out, that says that we can make up for the lack of thought behind a gift by upping its monetary value.

A Kindle is impressive. It costs a couple hundred dollars, it is the latest cool gadget for readers (and bookworms rarely have cool gadgets) and all you have to do is log onto your computer, get out the credit card and it is done. One more name to cross off the list. Even though you can get a book online as well, you have to think about the person, get inside their heads for a minute and then match a book to their personality. You have to put some time and effort into a book as a gift, and yet it costs so little compared to a Kindle. (Santa alert! This does NOT mean the author would turn down a Kindle…we must be gracious after all).

I received a perfect example of this from my Aunt and Uncle this year. My uncle and I talk on and off in fits and starts through the year, and stopped exchanging gifts decades ago, which is fine for all involved. This year they broke tradition. They know the struggles we have faced these past couple years, so they sent us a gift certificate to a restaurant with a card that said they too had struggled as we are now, and they remember how nice it was for them when they could go out to eat and feel “normal” again for a while, so they gave that gift of normalcy to us. Now that is a Christmas gift.

We all know how hurried and stressful life has become. This is why we buy the big-ticket gifts; we simply do not have the time to really shop. But what about the traditions? Certainly we need to bring those back again.

Whatever happened to Christmas caroling? Cookie exchanges? Real trees?

I have probably the worst singing voice on the planet. I have heard anemic cats more melodious than myself. But I was a caroler for many years, first in Girl Scouts, then with kids in the neighborhood. Even when I was “really cool” in high school I still managed to find a group to carol with. Caroling puts the world on hold for a few hours, and makes strangers your friends. You cannot sing with a person in the freezing cold for 4 hours and not bond with them. And to receive a cup of hot chocolate from a neighbor you barely wave to the rest of the year…it makes us all a family for a while.

I think everyone has at least one vivid memory of the Live Christmas Tree ritual. It has to be done on the coldest night of the year and very close to Christmas so you have to really hunt for a decent tree, and you must have a substantial number of other last-minute tree shoppers to knock elbows with. But oh, once you wrestle it in the house and the smell of fresh pine permeates everything, you are happy you spent half a week’s salary on a tree for the inside of the house (only the German’s… that’s all I will say).

Yes, there are big gifts I remember to this day. My father brought home matching black and white televisions for my sister and me when we were kids, much to my mother’s irritation. My mother bought me my first “boom box”. It was $200, a fortune in the late 70’s, and now the same one would be $9.99 at the drug store. But back then, wow, I was all grown up with my cassette deck and mammoth ear engulfing headphones (padded and everything!). The first 2-wheeled bike was a huge one too. Bright red with a banana seat, tons of reflectors and a dozen brightly colored streamers coming from each handle. Oh, and a basket, a bell and even a headlight! Best part? No helmet!

There is nothing wrong with buying expensive gifts for people, if it warms your heart and you can easily afford it. But no matter the price, please remember that a Christmas gift, like everything else in life, will be remember for the sentiment behind it.

Merry Merry Ya’all!

Halloween Thoughts

Halloween is quickly approaching and I am full of childlike anticipation. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday, even though I am not a real fan of candy, and don’t get presents, or romantic dinners, or drink green beer. What I like about Halloween is the feel of it. I feel oddly at home during Halloween. The change of season that it brings, the drama of the masquerade, and the electric sensation of a veil lifting between this world and another. Whether real or imagined, the mysterious and magical elements enliven my spirit.

Halloween elicits many different emotions in people. Some love having the parties, dressing up the kids, going door-to-door and chatting with neighbors they may not have spoken with since the Labor Day picnic. It is an ushering in of school and sweaters and a slowing down of the hectic summer months. Routine life begins again around Halloween and I think that is comforting to many.

Others, mostly the college crowd, have adopted Halloween as their own Mardi Gras. It is an excuse to really let down their hair, allow their alter egos to burst forth, and generally make even bigger asses of themselves than on a usual Saturday night.

Then there is the religious aspect of Halloween. For Pagans and Wiccans is it the Shabbat of Samhain, a festival with different meanings, depending on your particular religion. Christians are the most interesting I think. You have the die-hards who refuse to even acknowledge the day, the more moderate ones who embrace only the whimsical side (lets put a witch hat on the kitty!) and then there are some who are drawn to and fascinated by what All Hallows Eve represents, yet are at war within over how this relates to their faith. I have seen this push-pull myself and have seen them almost live out the holiday vicariously thru me, keeping themselves at a safe distance.

And of course, there are the children. Halloween has changed so much since I was a child. My father would come get me well after dark (the ONLY time to really get the Halloween spirit) and take me to all the neighborhood houses, telling me scary stories or pointing out imaginary ghosts behind every corner. I was exhilarated and scared at the same time. My Dad really put the magic in Halloween for me. I also remember a few times my teen-aged aunt took me around, cutting thru backyards that were pitch black, running and laughing in fear and delight like the devil himself was at our heels. Then we would come back to my grandmother’s house and, after passing the genuine cast iron cauldron being stirred by her dress mannequin decorated as the scariest witch I have ever seen to this day, we would pour out the bounty to assess the loot. My sister and I engaged in a very serious bartering session (she liked sugar, I liked chocolate) in the candle-lit kitchen with scary stories playing on the radio. It was a magical time.

Today, kids don’t have it so good. Parents feel the world is too dangerous now for the trick-or-treating we did as kids, so they dress up their kids and have them all congregate at someone’s house which, to me, is no better than a dress-up birthday party. Sorry Moms.

Things are kind of tight this year for us, so tight that we are skipping Halloween and will miss the few trick-or-treaters that come to our door. The radio no longer plays spooky shows all night, and the TV seems to think that blood and gore equates to spooky. I don’t know what ever happened to my grandmother’s horrifying porch witch, and my aunt has passed away. So this year you can find me playing my own movies on DVD, candles all around, eating candy corn in my witch outfit. I don’t think the magic will ever die for me.

As a thank you for reading this highly indulgent post, here is a cool recipe for Halloween, but not for the faint of heart: Simply click on the title of this post found above the haunted house picture.