Thursday, September 16, 2010

My Cursed LIfe: The Series

Well, never a dull moment around here!

Tom and I were in the middle of tearing apart the behemoth that is my entertainment center and packing up all the movies, etc., that were stored within, when the doorbell rang. I answered it (since Tommy has more of a "Who Can It Be Now" mentality than I do at times) and who should be standing there in all his glory but a woman's dream fella...the UPS man. My palms began to sweat in anticipation of the pleasures he was about to bestow upon me. But alas, the elusive Man In Brown was empty handed as he darkened my doorstep.

"Yes?" I virtually snapped at him, his empty arms mocking my anticipation.

"Good afternoon Ma'am, I just wanted you to know you have a water main break."

"WHAT???" I cried, temporarily dismissing the sting of being called the dreaded "Ma'am" by a young whippersnapper.

I slammed the door behind me and raced out to the front yard and there is was, like Old Faithful, spewing out fresh clean water all over the cul-de-sac. Waves of water began to look like dollar signs as I wondered whether it was our water or the neighbor's that was moistening the weeds for the block.

By this time Tom had come out and the polite yet disappointing UPS man dismissed himself among a flurry of appreciative word from both of us.

Tom's engineering instincts kicked in and I swear he grew a slide rule from one knuckled hand and a calculator from the other, in true Wolverine fashion. Adequately prepared, he began the mental calculations required to figure out what happened, how it will be fixed and who will have to pay for all this damn water bleeding onto the pavement.

My concern, as usual, was the germ factor. Was E. Coli and salmonella swimming its way into our inside plumbing as I stood there, poised to threaten all living creatures within?

Quickly I went inside and filled containers with water from the hot water heater (since no new water had been pumped into there so it was clean) and filled the tub as well. I washed the make-up off my face and watered the animals in case there was no water tonight. Seems like I had done this before. Oh yes, the last hurricane scare a couple of weeks ago. Gotta love the coastal south.

The calvary has arrived as I type my epic tale,and thank the heavens it is not our water, it is the neighbors, which means we do not have to pay for it and, best of all, it is CLEAN water. Still, I plan on keeping my reserves in tact since I have visions of the wrong main being shut off, or of ours being damaged in the process of theirs being fixed.

So that was today's crisis, brought to you by our fair city's deteriorating water system.

Hope you enjoyed it, and please come back for the next installment of My Cursed Life.

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